Day 38: Supersonic Man

My 500 Words

It is day 38! And, it 10:00 PM and I almost forgot to post today. What a tragedy that would have been. Luckily, I remembered with enough gas in the tank to post today.

My day was emotional and brilliant, ending with a very exhausted me. My man-friend and I awoke at approximately 5am and drove through crazy busy traffic to go skiing in the beautiful Rocky Mountains. Two hours into our drive, we had a bit of a row, despite listening to an audio book about transcending the issues of the mind and ego. Maybe it needs some time to set in? Either way, sleepiness and an understandable hatred of a traffic and poor driving conditions made for a stressful and long drive. But, once we were set and ready to get skiing, the problems of the morning quickly faded away.

We had a great day out on the slopes. As a beginner, I was pretty nervous to get started after a long break the past few months. Getting out there again was exhilarating. What I was doing was basic, but it felt good! I thought a lot about mindfulness today and enjoyed the opportunity to practice being fully in the moment…or to not practice and it just happen out of necessity. It does leave you feeling happier and more alive.

By the time we made it home, we were absolutely knackered. We slept, ran some errands, watched “Bohemian Rhapsody”, and now we are watching GBBS while I write this damn thing! Ah very hard to fit this task into a full day. It won’t be a good post or a post about anything other than the fact that I have to write this post. But I am doing it! And, I am well over half-way. Crushing it.

I noticed during my day skiing that I often talk to myself when alone and skiing…especially during difficult parts. I tell myself that I am “crushing it” or that I should “enjoy it” or that I am “brilliant.” Hilarious but helpful. I am just out there cheering myself on. How lovely. Much preferred to seeking perfection or acceptance from others. I am accepting myself as I am, where I am…and it is frick’n awesome. Good work, mate.

I have realized today that I can work better to accept my life as purposeful and passionate. People in my life might feel like they need to placate me with fun or activity in order to satisfy my lust for new experiences or time-fillers in the worst case. Perhaps I can be high maintenance to others, and I can take greater responsibility for my own happiness in this regard. Only I am responsible for my joy and how I find purpose in this life. I think that I can make this more obvious to those around me and even take greater hold of this aspect of my life.

I seek to live in a world where I have a purposeful daily life, brimming with joy, laughter, and activity. In truth, I already have this and can accept it as mine right now and every day. How lucky!

Day 20: The Mind Needs Problems

My 500 Words, Professional

I just went for a walk to break up the work day, lamenting all of the things that annoyed me about the day. I thought about Eckhart Tolle and the spiritual learnings I have been exposed to the past few weeks. I have been trying to tap into my “inner being” and separating my mind and its ramblings from my true self. I have found this to be a pretty useful exercise,

Conan O’Brien in a recent podcast he posted, mentioned that growing up, he believed that in order to be successful, you have to be miserable. This resonated with me. I grew up thinking that in order to be a good person, I had to suffer; I had to be broke and lose something in order to gain what I wanted. This is really not true. This is a limiting belief that can seep into so many areas of life. It can poison your mindset, your belief in what is possible for your life. The insidiousness of this thinking has been harmful to many of us. I have started just by writing affirmations of the beliefs that I want to have about myself and my life.

I have started to do this to shift my thoughts about work and my career path. As a side note, I write down my BIG goals all the time and revisit them. This is different and is in service of my bigger goals. I digress. So, I wrote down a few things that I thought would help me with work specifically.

Daily affirmations:
– I am so proud of my work.
– I am creative every day.
– I am doing meaningful work.
– I am present.

These daily affirmations were created to combat the negative thoughts that assault me in the midst of my work day. It seems that I am distracted and disempowered at times during my day. I created this “note” on January 18, 2019. I KID YOU NOT that this has helped me drastically. In less than a month, I have felt my job improve and rise to meet my expectations of purpose. This seems ridiculous, but it has been true so far, making me a believer. It might be my attitude, or it might be my reality has shifted. It might be some combination of both. In any case, I have had the best work month that I have had in a long time, maybe ever.

I feel more purposeful, challenged, and in alignment than ever. I have gone from menial and what I have found to be exhausting tasks to being asked to write, research, and learn within complex topics that help further the business and help better protect people. I don’t know what could be better. That is not the say that things have gotten easier. Work has actually become more challenging in the past month, but it has become increasingly worthwhile. I don’t know exactly what is going on, but I like it. I look forward to what is coming next, and I hope I remember to stay positive and to attract the job I desire, not that I think I deserve.